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Pomanjkanje navdušenja nad vsakdanjikom

Današnji dan lahko z lahkoto označim kot vsesplošno slab dan. Dan ko se človeku zdi, da mu gre vse narobe, dan ko komaj čakaš, da mine.. Najbolj zanimivo pa je, da sem se danes s takim občutkom že zbudil, nič kaj takega se mi ni zgodilo, kar bi "sprožilo" takšno počutje... Mogoče je kriva pozicija lune, mogoče kubični metri snega okoli mene, mogoče nekaj tretjega, a o tem tretjem kdaj drugič... Pa da se vrnem k pomenu današnjega naslova. Ko sem bil še mlad(no, mlajši...) sem z lahkoto vstal, kadar koli mi je pač zvonila budila in ponavadi sem se zbujal točno takrat, ko sem si prejšnji dan zamislil, ponavadi par minut pred zvonenjem budilke. Sedaj pa že dolgo časa opažam, mislim da nekje od konca srednje šole, da vedno težje vstajam vsak dan, ne glede na to, kaj imam tisti dan planirano. Lahko bi krivdo pripisal na faks, saj zadnje leto ne delam nič drugega kot beležim 100% prisotnost(vsaj tam blizu 100tki) na predavanjih, vajah, itd. Ampak ne, kljub temu da moram bit cele dneve na faksu, bi se vsaj kdaj pa kdaj "veselil" odhoda na Smetanovo in spoznati nekaj novega! Vsaj tiste dni, ko s sošolci delamo na kakšnem projektu. To se sedaj praktično nikoli več ne zgodi. In to me skrbi... Skrbi me predvsem zaradi tega, ker vem, kako z lahkoto lahko vstanem v tistih redkih, redkih jutrih, ko imam iz prejšnjega dneva v mislih nekaj, česar se veselim, zaradi česar sem razburjen(v dobrem ali slabem smislu) oziroma nekaj, kar je meni pomembno. Takšno jutro sem v lanskem letu doživel... kaj pa vem, verjetno bi lahko preštel na prste ene roke. Mogoče kdaj za kakšen izpit, kdaj za kakšen odhod nekam izredno(npr. na morje ali smučanje, kaj drugega se mi tako ali tako ne dogaja...). Tu pa se ti primeri tudi končajo. Resnično me zanima, kaj bi moral narediti, da bi jaz(ali pa vsaj moja podzavest) redno, vsak dan, z veseljem vstal, si rekel - "Danes bo dober dan!" in potem dejansko imel dober dan? Po jutru se dan pozna, ali kako že pravijo? Mislim da rabim nekaj... Nekaj kar me bo gnalo naprej... Ker zdajle ko sem preberal tole besedilo še enkrat od začetka, se mi zdi kot da sem postal preveč pasiven, otopel. Enostavno nenavdušen nad ničemer "navadnim". Predlogi? -Pa ne mi predlagat kakšen Bungee ali pač katero od teh adrenalinskih zadev, ker to sploh ni bistvo moje dileme, jaz trenutno verjetno rabim nek nov sistem gledanja na zunanji svet? Nekaj kar bo korenito spremenilo moj vsakdanjik, nekaj kar mi bo dalo dobro mero zanosa za sleherni dan v tednu... Tole lahko z lahkoto označim kot enega najbolj zmedenih vpisov na svoj blog. Bil sem že zmeden, npr. takrat glede "ostati prijatelja?", ampak nikoli pa v tako velikem obsegu! Upam na hitro izboljšavo:) Bom nehal pisati in šel razmišljati. To mi še dobro gre:) LP, Gregor P.S.: V Copenhagen-u so namesto reverzije globalnega ogrevanja zjebali še aparat za pravilno doziranje snega. Pri nas namreč iz neba tu pa tam po 15min padajo snezne kepe, vmes pa malo manjka, da bi sijalo sonce?!?!

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